To Post or Not to Post?

I have debated and debated on whether to post about this or not, and I have finally decided to share it. Maybe in hopes of getting it off my chest, and to maybe lower my blood pressure!

Last week on Wednesday after I picked up Karenza from daycare I had taken her up to see Addison and Holly. My cell phone rang, and it was Cindy (her daycare provider) telling me that "Tommy's" (I am using other names instead of their real one's) Mom had called her and said that Tommy had a bite on him, and he said Karenza did it. Cindy told me that "Gina - the mom" said she didn't want this blown under the rug and she wanted something done about it. Supposedly this is the second time Karenza has been accused of this. I have never seen her bite anyone or has anyone else ever accused her of biting. Cindy said she wanted to call me to let me know so that I can talk to Karenza about it.

I first asked Karenza if anything happened at daycare today (after we had left the hospital and it was just her and I). She said no. I said did you and "Tommy" fight? She said no. She usually has something to say about her and Tommy. They usually are really good buddies at daycare. I then asked her if she bit Tommy. She said "No." I said "Karenza, you really need to tell Mommy if you did." When I say that she usually starts to cry (because she thinks she is going to get in trouble). She never cried, and she said "Mommy, I already told you I didn't do it!" She actually accused him of biting her. So I called Cindy back and told her what Karenza was saying. She said she would tell "Gina". The next morning when I took Karenza to daycare Cindy said that "Gina" called her the night before and blew up on her because Tommy is insisting that Karenza did this, and that Cindy didn't see them do it.

No one saw it, Tommy didn't cry when Karenza supposedly did it. Cindy told me that he usually tells when anyone does anything to him, and she was alarmed that he didn't about this. She also told me the bite mark doesn't look consistent with a bite mark. Even Tommy's Dad said it didn't look like a bite mark. Any way Gina blew up at Cindy and Cindy is now no longer watching Tommy and his younger brother. Cindy called me Thursday night telling me that Gina had called her telling her that she thinks Karenza is being abused because of her aggression towards Tommy. I was really upset that she would make such accusations when we can neither prove or disprove that Karenza bit him. If I made a fuss out of every time Karenza had a mark or marks on her from daycare that she said some other kid did to her I would be making accusations every other week. I mean I understand if it really is a bite mark, and it continues to happen. I wouldn't want Karenza in that situation either. But, we can't prove it and the day it supposedly happened Cindy said Tommy never cried or complained once about Karenza or any other kid.

Then on Friday, Cindy told me when I picked Karenza up that Gina had reported it to Social Services of neglect on Cindy's part. Well, they called Cindy and said that there is no warrant to those charges because it's a three year old against a three year old not specifically neglect on Cindy's part. If they had found probable cause Cindy would have to report this every year on her file. Today I got a surprising call from Social Services as well wanting to ask me some questions about what happened and my side of the story. Not much to tell from my side, except I am being blamed of ludicrous accusations and my daughter said she didn't do it. I mean it's a three year olds word against a three year old who do you believe? Seriously! My heart just sunk, my heart was racing, and I was frankly pissed that it had gotten this far. The lady from social services said to me that there doesn't seem to be any speculation of abuse from talking to me so that she wouldn't pursue the investigation any further. Are you kidding me? I can't believe this parent has taken it this far! I have absolutely nothing to hide from Social Services and they are more then welcome in my home to see just the kind of living Karenza has. I mean I totally understand that Social Services needs to look into things, but Karenza doesn't even have marks on her. I just don't get it! I mean is my name now in a database to "watch" and will they now be following me to make sure that she isn't being abused?

And poor Karenza doesn't even have a clue this is going on. She just gets more and more upset that I keep asking her about this when she already told me she didn't do anything. I mean whether she did or didn't I never once thought I would have Social Services calling me to see if there is an speculation of abuse in my home. When I dropped Karenza off this morning Cindy told me this past week at daycare the last few days were so nice. She said there was no fighting, no whining, and everyone played nice. So sometime when a parent accuses another parent of something maybe they should look in the mirror. Their child may not be an angel. Cindy even said to me today, "Do you realize how many times you say 'be good, and don't be naughty' when you drop Karenza off?" I said "I guess not really." Cindy said "Everyday!" I know Karenza is not an angel, and she does get in trouble at daycare some days and she does get put in time out at daycare and reprimanded for it as well as when she gets home. She knows the rules, and I expect her to follow through with them whether she is at home with me and her Dad, at her Grandpa and Grandmas, or with her baby sitter. I know that things like this come along as being a parent, because we all parent so different. I told Randy my job is eliminated and Karenza gets kicked out of daycare what timing! Good to hear that the last few days at daycare have been good and that she has been good. Hopefully it continues and that I know she is really good, and not an instigator. She really is a sweet girl who is loved so very much!!